Ugh Housework

I envy my friends and family that are good at cleaning and love to do it. I apparently have no Mary Poppins DNA whatsoever. Every minute spent washing dishes is total misery. I never get to the point with keeping house that I can smile and say, "Oh that's so much better now that it's clean and organized." In fact when a house is too clean it makes me twitchy. I hate packing. I hate unpacking. I hate giving yard sales where people paw through all my stuff & want everything for $1. I hate moving furniture. And everyone I've ever had a relationship figures women clean house, that's what they do, and they are so sorely disappointed.  I should come with a disclaimer: Doesn't do windows, or floors, or scrub tile.

Now don't get me wrong. I can work in a yard all day and be quite content. I can sew beads on for hours on end. I can paint empty houses inside or out and I love it. But sit me in front of a junk drawer or a garage that needs a makeover and I'll either be angry for the next 8 hours or burst into tears or both. Part of it has to do with being an empath, and part of it has to do with psychometry. Touching things overwhelms me with emotions and memories of my kids growing up, my divorce, my unhappy childhood, friends that have died, jobs I've had and lost, moves made under great stress, etc.

If I was ever rich the first thing I would do is hire housekeepers and scullery maids. Then I could spend my life on things I'm actually good at instead of feeling like a prisoner in my own home.

Random Stuff

I watched the movie Benny and Joon again. I am once again awed by the talent of Johnny Depp and I love his character of Sam.

I find traditional weddings extremely boring. So my daughter had me watching this reality show about fairy tale weddings. Both of the episodes I watched had black wedding gowns.  At least that was interesting. I wonder if I would have made a good wedding dress designer. I got married in 1982 and made my own wedding gown, bouquet, bridesmaid bouquets and most of the bridesmaids dresses.  It's amazing the lengths I will go to to save money. Even so, I was never one of those little girls that planned out my dream wedding, because I never planned to get married. I'd rather design ball gowns than wedding dresses.

Tomorrow I'm going to a Ren faire that I used to work at. I don't think I ever achieved my dream of being a star at a Ren faire. I was never thin enough or cool enough or savvy enough. I always blended into the background and didn't have enough talent to own the stage. So faires are always kind of sad and disappointing to me. But my grandkids deserve to see it. Maybe I can find the magic through their eyes. I also hate being seen in public being all old and fat. It depresses me.

I should be in bed right now because it is going to be a long weekend. I just feel all wound up. I finally get some alone time and I don't want to spend it sleeping.

I was happy when my daughter ordered pizza for dinner. At my new house, there are no pizza delivery places. I haven't had a pizza delivered since Easter, and that was also when I was at my daughter's house. My daughter usually cooks a very nice paleo dinner. But she was just out of it tonight. I was busy sewing. So pizza was a lifesaver. I had pepperoni and sausage.

It is so nice being on the cool central coast when it's about 104 degrees at my desert home. I don't even want to go back until fall. Or maybe never at all.

Okay I'm finally starting to get drowsy. I don't know what is up with Google, but they just 'assigned' me to another Youtube channel. I have about 12 Google email addresses.  Are they going to foist another Youtube channel on me under each name? Ridiculous. Before I noticed it wasn't even my usual Youtube channel I landed on when I typed in Youtube.com, I'd already favorite 2 videos and subscribed to someone. Then I'm like, "Oops, I don't want this account." I don't feel like hassling with deleting it right now, though I probably should. I already have 3 Youtube channels; one for hypnosis, one for crafts, and one for hypnosis. I don't need a fourth.

Okay, I'm going to force myself to at least lay down. Please follow my blog. It makes me more motivated to write.