Back Home Again

As I was leaving my house today, I discovered a bird that looks like a red finch or sparrow is building a rather messy nest over my front porch light fixture. We don't use the front porch that often so it shouldn't be a problem.

I spotted the gopher snake again today hanging out under the laundry room. Or it could be a different snake entirely. Its not like they have name tags.

The joshua tree is in full bloom. They remind me of popcorn balls.

Library Day

Today was library day. By tomorrow I should be able to turn my Broadband back on, but for today I need to use the library's DSL connection. I finished two vampire books today and turned in one of them and requested the next one in the series. I like to read things in order. So hopefully they'll get that one to me fairly quickly.

I have an SCA event on Sat. so I need to get all my garb together. The last event I went to was before Christmas so I hope I can find everything. We find things and then lose them again every time we unpack more boxes. And when I got home from my week long trek, my boyfriend had rearranged the kitchen and put up some shelves.  I'm glad he did it, but now I don't know where anything is again.

Then I tore apart more boxes today looking for some arrow making tools he lost. I also watered all the trees, since it is pretty hot out today. I refilled the hummingbird feeder and had two new hummingbirds show up just before sunset yesterday. I enjoy nature. It helps me relax.

Barbed wire abandoned in our yard.

Home Again

After the long train ride home on Monday, I was exhausted on Tuesday, so I didn't do much of anything. Today I feel much better, and have been busy ever since the moment I rolled out of bed. I'm at the library now playing blog catch up. I finished the book I was reading on the train, which is Betrayed by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast. I can't wait to read the next one in the series.

Me at Pismo Beach, CA

Ballet Memories

Ballet

My older daughter and I both share a love for dance, so we spent spare moments watching ballet movies like Billy Elliot and Turning Point while I was at her house for a week.  She has Netflix so she had quite a few dance movies available, both the fictitious ones and the documentary ones. We’ve both taken ballet in our past. I didn’t even start ballet classes until I was 21 so I didn’t get to take it for more than a few years. Then my daughter took ballet in San Luis Obispo, CA for a while, but college became her priority after a point. The documentary about the Joffrey Ballet also included some modern dance segments with Twyla Tharp and other choreographers. I took modern dance in college. My college only offered modern, jazz and folk dancing and I took all of them. I took belly dancing on the side, but nowadays some colleges offer that as well.

Here she is with baby, hubby and son.



My daughter only a month and a half after giving birth to her second child.



ATS Photo Shoot

Today I had an amazing time doing a photo shoot. The lighting was perfect. The weather was perfect, and we had a perfectly fabulous time. My daughter was stunned and amazed at the photos of herself. We took over 500 photos! All in the period of about an hour and a half, including interruptions for nursing, eating and consuming dinner, and chasing a 2 year old boy. Hard to believe my daughter just had a baby a month and a half ago. She has amazing stamina. When I get home I'll be able to share some of the photos after she edits them. It's nice to know that if I have a decent camera at my disposal, I can take amazing photos.

I love the lighting.

Packing and Photography

Today I did a tribal photo shoot with my daughter. I think I already talked about this, but I checked the calender and it was the 24th, because I remember I had to get it done along with my laundry and packing for the train ride home on Monday. What a busy, fun, crazy day. Next time I go maybe we can do a Steampunk or Goth shoot.

My daughter has such a beautiful yard for photo shoots. Even though she's the model here, her job is as a wedding photographer.

The Park and The Chase

It has been a blur since I got here. Going from just the two of us in a small house to visiting my family with my two grand kids in a big house has been manic, busy, and nuts. I'm having a blast but I'm oh so tired. I've learned that I cannot keep up with a toddler running full bore through a park. And I'd like to thank the two ladies with double wide strollers who blocked his path so I could grab him before an SUV came blasting around the corner into the parking lot. The place was packed with all the Easter festivities. Why run slow when you can run faster? Anyway, no harm done this time and he got the long talk about how you have to listen to grandma.

Easter egg hunt with grandson and grandfather.

Future Plans and E-publishing

I booked another gig in the San Luis Obispo area in July. Which means I'll have to do the train thing all over again unless I have a car by then. I really hope I get one soon because I feel like life is passing me by and I'm not getting any younger. But I don't know where I am going to get the income to save for a car without having a car to get to where I can earn money. If I could only beef up my Internet income that would help a lot. I'm thinking of E-publishing stories on the Internet. Someone sent me a how to guide yesterday so I need to look into that as soon as I get back home. He sells his short stories for .99 on Smashwords.com. If you know of any good sites for that, please post a comment.

Dance Shop

Yesterday I took a walk down memory lane when we visiting the local dance shop. The owner didn't recognize me until I jogged her memory. Then again she probably hasn't seen me in 10 years. I started going there before I got married, so it was about 30 years ago. It's really something that a small business in a small town can hang in there in this economy. But I also felt bad that I never made a name for myself there. One of my students went on to open a world dance studio. One of my ballet teachers went back to college and became a psychologist and moved back east. Seems everyone has done something with their lives except me.

Thunderbird Earrings

I keep trying to make a pair of thunderbird earrings while visiting my daughter. But I just don't have any big blocks of uninterrupted time so I can focus. Maybe it isn't the best project for a trip away from home that involves 2 grandchildren. I look back when I was homeschooling my two daughters and I can't help but wonder just how I got so much done. I must have had much better stamina than I do now. Every moment we were cooking, cleaning, shopping, changing the baby, racing off to gymnastics, putting someone to bed, doing a bath, or working on art projects. I'm knitting a baby hammock for photo shoots. So much to do, and only one week to do it all.

Spontaneous trip to Pismo Beach, CA

Busy Day Chasing Two Grandkids

I know I must be tired when I fall asleep waiting for the webpage to load. I never thought I'd say this but I miss the time of my life when I had two kids in diapers and my world revolved around them. I miss the cozy family dinners and the trips to the market or the Dr. office. I miss bunk beds and bedtime stories.

Siblings

I'm getting along famously with my grandkids. Met my granddaughter for the first time yesterday. She's a calm baby that seems content to swing or be held. She's only cranky when she's hungry and that's not my job! My grandson seems adjusted to having a baby sister already even though she's only a month and a half old. He helps with her blankets and snuggles up with her on the couch. She does seem to get the hiccups a lot. I'm only staying a week so I'm trying to soak up as much of the experience as I can. I really wish I'd never left SLO County. It's so verdant here under the oak trees.

Wall of Mirrors

I think it was a mistake to not have any full length mirrors in my last 2 homes. I walked into my daughter's dance studio with its wall of mirrors and I couldn't believe how fat I'd gotten. I was horrified and couldn't get the image out of my head. It's like my bottom half belongs to someone else. Even though I have lost a little weight, the problem is much worse than I thought. My weight loss seems almost nullified. It was just a baby step compared to what I need to do from this point on.

Trip Planned

My Broad Band limited use ran out last night. I was so bummed. Because I needed it to last one more day before I leave town. So now I'm at the library typing as fast as I can because my bf is already ready to leave. Rats!

Prayer Flags

I spent all day yesterday working on putting in a Zen garden. Then today I realized I could make prayer flags to hang on the creasote bushes. Then I thought of all my friends who are suffering and how many names I'd have to write, as well as the personal things I need like safe transportation and medical insurance. I need to find some fabric I can use for that.

Libraries Pro and Con

There was a lovely pink sunset tonight. We feasted on spaghettini and broccoli in cream of celery soup. I started reading Black Dawn, one of the Morganville Vampire series. It's so good I'm already 1/3 of the way through it. In fact the library had both of the books I put on hold waiting for me when I dropped in. It's a tiny library but the librarians are super nice.

In other library news, my previous library sent me a $78 bill. Two books were destroyed when we moved, so it's time to pay up. About $50 of it is for the books, $10 is the replacement fee, and $15 is the collection agency fee. Ouch. If I can find the books on Amazon for less they are open to that, but I'll still have to buy the books and pay the $15 fee and figure a way to drive 120 miles to deliver the books. Oh well. In the long run it might be better just to send a check.

Hypnosis Chat

I've rediscovered hypnosis chatrooms. There is a convention going on called NeeHu so I got to watch a cam on the first arrivals. They are the event staff. The actual event is this weekend.

The bad part is it is like a rabbit hole. Once I get into one I find it extremely hard to pull myself away. So it becomes a big time suck.

Real Witches

I found a sense of joy and purpose in making a witch themed channel on Youtube last week. I honestly never even thought to look for witches on Youtube until a friend of mine (who I didn't even know was a green witch) told me about a channel called The Real Witches of Orange County.  I even pondered joining it as the Real Witch of Anaheim, but then I moved out of Orange County. The moral support I've received from other witches on Youtube has been surprising and comforting to me and I'm only a week or less into it.

I'd love to make a pagan rosary from rose petals. This spring I hope I get to plant some roses.

And That Wraps Up Another Weekend

When someone has a bad day and takes it out on me it hurts. It really does. Then I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It sucks the fun out of my life. I have to keep reminding myself it is their issue not mine. I'm not keeping that monkey on my back. I give them their monkey back and that makes them even madder.

So I did my best to tune them out and worked on my metaphysical videos by myself. I'm going to focus on being a witch, and live my own life.

Psychic Circle Board

More Love Letters

I am a huge fan of writing letters. But I'm not a huge fan of paying postage. So I raced to look up this story about a woman that started a letter writing craze. You can read about it here: http://www.moreloveletters.com/letter-central/ So my task today is to write a bunch of these encouraging letters to strangers.  I think 'love' letter is a misnomer, because that implies intimacy and maybe naughtiness, but I'm all up for writing words of encouragement and tucking them here and there for strangers to find. I can use up all the old stationary I found in storage.

At noon I'm off to the Women's Expo in Victorville, so hopefully I can leave my letters there.  No point in leaving them out in the desert by my house where they will just blow away or get rained on. I think I will even make a Youtube video about it for my next Portal to Esoterica vlog. It's a type of healing magic after all. So I'm signing off to write love letters. 

So Friday It Is

Only in my house would we go from watching a movie like Quills with Kate Winslet and follow it with Chicken Run.

Quills makes me think a lot about censorship and corruption in both church and state. How the church and state profit from the corruption they claim to fight against. They make money on sin taxes don't they?

There were protestors at the post office with posters of Obama's face with Hitler's mustache. They want to impeach Obama. I didn't expect something like that in such a tiny village. Shows you how angry people are.

Well, That Was Unflattering

Have you ever put on your favorite dress, had someone take a photo of you from head to toe, and realized that the dress makes you look fat enough to be pregnant.  Well, that was my day today.

The Blessings Jar

I have a blessings jar by me. Every few days I scribble down some of my blessings, so that even in dark times I can keep my mind focused on good things. Then on New Year's Day I will sit down and read them all. It is not my usual state of mind to be positive so this takes work. Whatever you focus on grows stronger, so I'd rather focus on my blessings. It's a choice. And I have to keep making it. Otherwise the negative is overwhelming.

Signs of Spring

Signs of spring: Buds leafing out on trees and bushes. One crocus pushing little leaf tips through the soil. Two doves nesting. Nicer weather. Ants coming out of their ant hills. Holes revealed where gophers and chipmunks and snakes live. Grass showing up in the sandy yard. It’s our first spring here and I’m keeping notes.

Crushed Velvet Ghawazee Coat

I want this so bad I can taste it. It's custom made. I love the coat, but I'd also want the blouse and the skirt. And I'd be hard-pressed to decide if I wanted it in red or purple crushed velvet.The blouse is called a 'vampire blouse' but I don't see it listed in the store anymore. Of course it wouldn't look the same on me because I'm shaped like a potato. I tried to make one once, and the buttons strained from neck to hips. I think I wore it once, and threw it in a box.

Source: goodsie.com via Theodora on Pinterest

Beauty and Confidence

My healing affirmation for today is 'I am beautiful and confident.' I think I need to say it about a million times.

Right now though my black shirt looks like it's sprouting wings because I'm covered in little white feathers from my down comforter. I feel more like big bird than Mila Kunis. She was so hot in the Black Swan. I miss ballet class. Such an amazing work-out. I always felt like I accomplished something amazing when I left the studio after class.

Source: at-le-petit-cafe.tumblr.com via Cinnamon on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Rachel on Pinterest

I Feel Like a Kite

The wind came about 12 hours earlier than predicted. I heard it outside my bedroom about 3 AM. And it's been blowing ever since. So much for working outside today. The temperature is perfect. I tried to read out there and my hat kept blowing off. So I spent the day indoors sorting through boxes, posting things to my Etsy shop, reading and cooking.

Little Green Buds

Daylight Savings Time is about a week away. Can spring be far behind? I'm so ready for spring. I'd love to do some spring sewing. Not to mention spring planting. We moved here in the autumn, so I've never even seen what this yard looks like in the other seasons. A tree I thought was dead is now covered with little buds. The buds were black before but now if you look carefully you can see some green in there. I saw a woodpecker today. I saw two rabbits making out. I saw a pair of doves nesting. Spring fever can't be far away. I can't wait to see baby quail. Also, one of my bulbs has sprouted little green leaf tips. I hope it's the first of many and not the only one that grew out of the 50 or so that I planted.  Too soon to give up yet.  The butterfly bush, still in it's nursery pot, seems healthy.  The gardenia lost half her leaves to frost. I hope she pulls through. The Marguerite daisy up and died on me. The peacock lily had have it's leaves turn brown, but I'm hoping it will recover when it stops freezing overnight.

I was on the Burpee website. If you type in your zip code, and then click on a seed you'd like to try, the site tells you when to plant it in your area. Since I've never lived in the Mojave desert before, that site is going to be a huge help to me as I figure out what to grow and when to plant it for best results. Does anyone have a butterfly bush that is mostly dead? The one that was here when we moved in only has one branch that is growing. Is it okay to trim off the obviously dead branches? Will it help new branches to grow if I prune it way back?

 

 

Can you see the green in the buds?

I have no idea what kind of tree this is. 

The Daily Grind and Making a Living Freelance Style

I'm greatly relieved that a new month is here and we somehow managed to pay our rent on time. Now I just have to save another $140 to pay for our 'garage' which consists of two containers like you pull on the back of a shipping truck. If you don't pay on time, they just come get it, with all your stuff inside. And we don't want that, now do we. That bill is not due until the 10th, so I'm crossing my finger that money finds its way to me.

I'm trying to get some classes going again now that the dust has settled on our new home and I can get back to the business of being in business. I remember my high school art teachers telling me that being a freelance artist wasn't a good career choice. Obviously it wasn't for them, because they got jobs as teachers. But I'm stubborn and refuse to give up. Sometimes freelance artists do make it, and I hope to be one of them.